FUNNIES

Shelbel · Shelbel

Kisses unleash chemicals that ease stress levelsPublished: 2/13/09, 9:25 PM EDT By RANDOLPH E. SCHMIDCHICAGO (AP) - "Chemistry look what you've done to me," Donna Summer crooned in Science of Love, and so, it seems, she was right. Just in time for Valentine's Day, a panel of scientists e...

Storm · Storm

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important pa...

Storm · Storm

Charlie marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he's on fire, so he gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her. "Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table." So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, "Is this better?" &...

KuteKirby · KuteKirby

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, H...

Mermoney · Mermoney

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the V...

Storm · Storm

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them th...

Storm · Storm

A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening. The woman of the house gave their butler, Jervis, the night off. She said they would return home very late, and she hoped he would enjoy his evening. The wife wasn't having a good time at the party. So, she came home early, alone. Her husband stayed on, s...

Storm · Storm

Who is Jack Schitt you ask? The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says " you don't know jack schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married...

Shelbel · Shelbel

Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband sta...

Storm · Storm

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem." Well , Randy the rooster is...

zuutalore · zuutalore

want to have sex or not . While we are in bed you give me the signal by pulling my pecker once for sex and 100 times for when you do not want to have sex. I thought that was cute one a customer told me that the other day.

hominid · hominid

10. Gales of laughter disturbed the 2 Uno players next door 9. TC feared lawsuits after research revealed blinky ads on Java trigger epileptic fits 8. In hindsight, TC realizes investing with Bernard Madoff was not a wise idea 7. TC tired of picking up the empty bottles off of the lawn every morning 6. T...

Storm · Storm

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie! The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes. So you can forget ab...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Kissing IS Good For You !!! (Preview) Kisses unleash chemicals that ease stress levelsPublished: 2/13/09, 9:25 PM EDT By RANDOLPH E. SCHMIDCHICAGO (AP) - "Chemistry look what you've done to me," Donna Summer crooned in Science of Love, and so, it seems, she was right. Just in time for Valentine's Day, a panel of scientists e...	Shelbel	0	1065	Sat Feb 14 8:38 AM, 2009 by Shelbel
	Joe was shocked and depressed... (Preview) Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important pa...	Storm	0	776	Sun Feb 1 7:21 AM, 2009 by Storm
	Charlie marries a virgin.... (Preview) Charlie marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he's on fire, so he gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her. "Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table." So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, "Is this better?" &...	Storm	0	657	Sun Feb 1 7:12 AM, 2009 by Storm
	10 Husbands, Still a Virgin (Preview) A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, H...	KuteKirby	1	1905	Thu Jan 29 10:50 PM, 2009 by chocHollyK
	Poor Irish Woman (Preview) An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the V...	Mermoney	0	4350	Tue Jan 27 9:29 AM, 2009 by Mermoney
	Mr Bear and Mr Rabbit (Preview) Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them th...	Storm	0	743	Sat Jan 24 7:58 AM, 2009 by Storm
	A wealthy couple prapared to go out..... (Preview) A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening. The woman of the house gave their butler, Jervis, the night off. She said they would return home very late, and she hoped he would enjoy his evening. The wife wasn't having a good time at the party. So, she came home early, alone. Her husband stayed on, s...	Storm	0	638	Sat Jan 24 7:49 AM, 2009 by Storm
	Do you know Jack Schitt? (Preview) Who is Jack Schitt you ask? The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says " you don't know jack schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married...	Storm	0	750	Fri Jan 23 11:27 AM, 2009 by Storm
	Letter to Tide (Preview) Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband sta...	Shelbel	0	679	Thu Jan 22 4:47 PM, 2009 by Shelbel
	Randy the rooster (Preview) This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem." Well , Randy the rooster is...	Storm	0	592	Thu Jan 22 10:15 AM, 2009 by Storm
	a man says to his wife of twenty years. "I have the perfect way for you to let me know if you (Preview) want to have sex or not . While we are in bed you give me the signal by pulling my pecker once for sex and 100 times for when you do not want to have sex. I thought that was cute one a customer told me that the other day.	zuutalore	1	687	Thu Jan 22 10:06 AM, 2009 by Jasmin^
	Top 10 Reasons Talk CIty Is Dropping Ridic (Preview) 10. Gales of laughter disturbed the 2 Uno players next door 9. TC feared lawsuits after research revealed blinky ads on Java trigger epileptic fits 8. In hindsight, TC realizes investing with Bernard Madoff was not a wise idea 7. TC tired of picking up the empty bottles off of the lawn every morning 6. T...	hominid	11	1309	Wed Jan 21 10:35 PM, 2009 by Shelbel
	Genie in a lamp (Preview) A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie! The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes. So you can forget ab...	Storm	0	638	Wed Jan 21 5:43 PM, 2009 by Storm
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